Where do I put self-confidence?

Having self-confidence is feeling that we are fit for survival. Believing that we can face the obstacles and demands of life.

We are all afraid of the unknown: a new friendship, a new school, a new job, a new relationship. Fear is healthy when it keeps us alert to possible mistakes. But it becomes a problem when it prevents us from living those new experiences.

 

The media take advantage of our fears to bombard us with unreliable information. The commercials offer us products that will help us get what we want without more effort than buying them. We have been taught that the acquisition of objects must influence our self-esteem and we are promised wonders, to increase the desire to possess them.

 

Let’s simplify. The possession of an object guarantees us results in any situation. The object is a kind of amulet, an external aid, something alien to us. When we think about it, it seems absurd. But how many times do we question the information we receive from the media?

 

Some messages become even more alarming, because they turn the body into that magical object, the cause of our victories, the reason for our disappointments. I got you because it is attractive; what brings us to you did not get I because it is not attractive.

 

Despite these erroneous dynamics, causing great suffering to people, the fact does not change: The body does not define Being. The essentials of life are not achieved based on the image of the body, but through work on it. Be. It is essential to reflect on truly important issues, for example, on the origin of our own love and respect, on our principles, on our longings. These are some of the components of our person that will be with us throughout life. To have confidence in myself, is to trust in my good qualities, in the continuous use of human virtues.

 

Despite these erroneous dynamics, causing great suffering to people, the fact does not change: The body does not define Being. The essentials of life are not achieved based on the image of the body, but through work on it. Be.

 

It is essential to reflect on truly important issues, for example, on the origin of our own love and respect, on our principles, on our longings. These are some of the components of our person that will be with us throughout life. To have confidence in myself, is to trust in my good qualities, in the continuous use of human virtues.

 

Relying on body image to experience safety is very risky. The constant desire and effort to achieve an ideal figure or maintain physical beauty generates worry and stress, which, in many cases, makes us susceptible to eating disorders. Let’s imagine a girl who is very proud of her legs, considers them attractive and others reaffirm this thought with good comments about them. This brings her satisfaction, and also makes her have ideas of greatness compared to other women who do not have a similar figure. She feels loved, valued and full of self-esteem, so she takes great care of her figure with all kinds of products, creams, diets and exercise routines. Really she is convinced that beauty in her physique is essential to feel good and she has put a lot of dedication in maintaining this. What if, because of an accident, this woman’s legs had to be amputated? Where would your self-confidence now be?i.

 

Let’s look at another example: A man who suffered from multiple female rejections in his teens set out to build an athletic and muscular body. He devoted years of training to strengthen himself, enforced strict diets, and sacrificed parties and outings with friends to maintain his discipline. Now he feels admired for the female gender, which gives him great pleasure. It makes you feel safe to get the looks of others when you enter the gym. She wears T-shirts that highlight her muscles and likes to upload photos to her social networks to get compliments from others.

 

He feels a certain contempt for people who do not take care of his figure, since he considers them lazy and unworthy. Now suppose this man was found in a fire, where he managed to get out alive, but unfortunately suffered severe burns that disfigured his face and much of his body. What will you base your confidence and self-esteem on now?

 

I know these two examples may seem a bit far-fetched: they are not. None of us can be sure of what will happen to us. Today may be the day of our death and it is recommended to be healthily aware of that possibility.

 

The quality of our thoughts is the only thing that will help us build our person and, therefore, our life. We must take care of our body, know it and satisfy its basic needs, because it is part of what we are, but, again, it is not what we are, but its vehicle. The body deteriorates over time and, only if we have worked on the essential characteristics of our person, will we accept its changes without affecting our emotional or mental health.

The best body is the living body.

 

Lic. Ernesto Aguilar López

Start Again Clinical Team

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